My First Breath.
In 2016, I went through what you may call the darkest night of my soul. There was this excruciating and constant pain in my chest, but there was no wound. I would randomly burst into tears for no apparent reason. I suffered through my life and desperately needed to find a way out. The only option that kept coming to me was suicide.
One day, I stood in front of the mirror, looked into my eyes; red and swollen from crying for hours and suddenly became terrified by the realization that I could actually kill myself. Almost as immediately as the fear came, it left. In its place came a sudden and powerful wave of anger rushing down my spine.
In that moment, I said; “This pain can kill me, but I will not let it kill someone else.”
That was the moment I found a reason to live. It was like breathing for the first time after holding my breath for centuries. That was the year I started to write and share my work.
I always say this: “At the depth of death, there is life.”
And I say this because, sometimes the path of destiny may take us through places that threaten to kill us. It may feel like sinking, dying even. But this crucial point is where inspiration will find us.
The true Meaning Of Inspiration
The root word for inspiration is ‘to breathe into’. It is the act of drawing air into the lungs and because of this definition, I find the story of a man who breathed air into his grieving disciples to strengthen and revive them, fascinating. It signified a new dawn for them. An after-the-death-comes-life type of thing, after-the-failure-comes-victory kind of air.
I always tell people, “Don’t live everyday like it is your last. Live everyday like it is your first day on earth.” Because a newly born has no regret, no fear, no pride. It has only the future to look forward to. This is how life should be lived.
A baby’s first breath is usually the most profound and difficult breath the child will ever take. It is more than a breath; it is a gasp, almost a yell. Here, it is negative pressure that allows air into the lungs.
What negative emotions are you feeling? What are you going through? I want you to trust this process that feels like death right now. Right here lies your inspiration to become something new and better. Right here is the sound of a new melody, dry bones rising again.
Dare to breathe.